What Your Favorite White Claw Flavor Says About You

Some may call White Claw the drink of Summer 2020. Personally, they’re a favorite of mine. If you want to spice things up a little pour a shot or two into one and make yourself a spiked claw. You won’t be thanking me in the morning ;).

There has been much controversy over which flavor of White Claw is best. Obviously it’s Black Cherry and if you even try to argue it you’re wrong. Your favorite flavor of White Claw also says a whole bunch about you as a person. Whatever you do, don’t be a Natural Lime.

Black Cherry

You’re elite. You have superior taste buds and are the life of the party. You’re always down to drink no matter the occasion and bring the fun wherever you go. You don’t sugar coat anything and say it how it is. Black Cherry doesn’t taste artificial and if this is your favorite flavor you also are not artificial. Keep doing you Black Cherry folks. Live it up baby.

Tangerine

This is a close second with Black Cherry. What you see is what you get. It also doesn’t taste artificial and you can drink 6 of these in a row without feeling like absolute shit. The only issue I have with these is that they don’t come in a 6 pack. If these are your favorite flavor, you’re extremely outgoing and make yourself and others chuckle like no other. You always spice up a night out like these spice up your taste buds.

Lemon

If you’re a basic bitch like myself and love vodka waters this is probably your White Claw flavor of choice. You told yourself you were going to stop blacking out on double vodka waters at the bar so this is your next best bet. You’re quirky and are always looking for an instagram worthy moment. You’re never seen without your Gucci belt and acrylic nails. You’re sweet but also a lil sour just like a Lemon.

Raspberry

If Raspberry is your favorite flavor you’re an overall normal, sane person. You don’t go out with the intention to blackout and are typically the one to make sure no one dies of alcohol poisoning. You’ve probably never struggled with mental health issues but are surrounded by a bunch of crackhead friends. Everyone should aspire to be put together like you but some of us just can not.

Mango

Mango is another basic bitch flavor. If white claw flavors were sorority girls, Mango would be Lemons little. You only drink it to be #relatable and #basic. This is definitely the sorority girl of white claw flavors. It low-key tastes like an expired popsicle. If Mango is your favorite flavor you tell all the guys you like that you hate them, hookup with a different frat guy every time you go out but complain when Chad won’t settle down during cuffing season. Live life to your fullest girlfriend!!

Ruby Grapefruit

The first few sips start off good and give you a little hope. But once you get halfway through you realize this tastes like absolute shit. Starts off strong just to end weak, kind of like the old flame you keep going back to. If Ruby Grapefruit is your favorite flavor you’re no ones favorite person. You’re the quiet one of the friend group and make sure everyone gets home safely but no one ever checks on you. You have a big heart and good intentions but always seem to fall short. Try a little harder Ruby Grapefruit folks.

Watermelon

If Natural Lime wasn’t a thing this would be the worst flavor White Claw. It tastes like an old blow pop soaked in vodka. If Watermelon is your favorite flavor you’re really boring and pride yourself on your 4.0 GPA, sorority/fraternity legacy, and 6 year relationship.

Natural Lime

If this is your favorite flavor you’re the worst. You probably have terrible taste in men or women and just suck in general (sorry TFM boys y’all don’t suck but your choices in White Claw flavors do). You make shitty jokes trying to get people to laugh but they’re never funny and people laugh out of pity. These literally taste like flat Sprite that’s been sitting out for too long. Don’t get me wrong I love a good vodka water lime but this sucks and does not even compare. This may be a hot take but I’m really not sorry at all.

Whatever you aspire to be in life, try to be like those whose favorite flavor of White Claw is Black Cherry.

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