Thanksgiving 2020… I can’t believe we somehow fucking made it. I’m going to put this lightly… this year has been a heaping pile of shit that’s been burning for so long that we’ve become more nose blind to the pain of this year than the stale weed smell that’s in our houses all the time. Feels like March was last weekend because I’m still emotionally processing not being able to drink the proper amount on the only day I like more than my own birthday, St Patty’s Day. Celebrating being Irish is only done properly by buying a case of Guinness and the biggest fuckin bottle of Jameson and getting absolutely shithoused before you even try to go to any party. Some of the best advice I can give to my fellow Alpha Males is when I went to the bars in Ireland when for the first time I learned going shot for shot with every pint of Guinness I drank resulted in me somehow blacking out so hard I would randomly snap out of it every time I met a new bartender in whatever bar my cousin was dragging me around too in Wexford (really underrated club scene, smaller than Dublin but they rage).

It was one hell of a time… wait what the fuck? Why am I going on a tangent about St Patty’s day and hitting the bars in Ireland… today is Thanksgiving? This is how fucked 2020 has turned out to be. St patty’s day, All of Darty Season, the beginning of the MLB, 4:20, Cinco De Mayo (feel like an asshole for almost forgetting about that excuse to blackout), Memorial Day weekend, Half Christmas, The 4th of July!!!!, Tailgate season, literally every holiday for the last 8 months has been completely fucked over. Putting all of that aside somehow, as hard as it is, when the calendar finally hit November and I started thinking about things that I’m thankful for and it’s doing this exact thing I’m doing right now. Writing for the thousands of readers on Total Frat Move the last 5 months has given me something to look forward to during this beat time period where all I have is blue balls and my hopes and dreams shattered of having a normal life this year. With all of this alone time and self-reflection that I’ve had and all the blogs I’ve been able to write I’m thankful that I’m never going to be a mediocre, sorry sack of shit, Beta male.

It’s easy to spot and smell a beta male in the places they inhabit the most, Twitter and outside of your party when they try to hide in a pack of girls and sneak in. They’re wearing clothes from Target that don’t fit, use hair gel that’s been under their sink since 2013, and their voice has never dropped so they sound like a baby back bitch every time they speak. I miss going to lectures with brothers and sniping these guys from across the room and absolutely clowning them. Since I can’t do that on a daily basis I’ve resorted to Twitter to roast Beta Males any chance I can get.

Local sports Journalists are a prime target because A) they have the lowest self-esteem so they get really defensive B) they get really insecure when a fucked off Undergrad gentleman that is in a fraternity calls them out for being a beta C) it’s funny seeing all of the followers they have to Jerk them off for getting acknowledged for their terrible reporting until the confirmation bias Jizzes all over their faces.

Twitter has become the “battleground” for Beta Males to take center stage, specifically local sportswriters. If you are over the age of 22 and you are still reporting about high school girls’ sports and you’re a Beta, you should be labeled a sex offender. I don’t know if that’s too far but if you report high school sports and you aren’t on the high school yearbook staff or an undergrad covering for the mediocre student newspaper on campus you should fuck off back to your mom’s basement and play League of Legends on the computer monitor that is more expensive than your 2007 Civic.

There is a lot to be thankful for in 2020 even though it was probably the worst way to possibly start a decade. Total Frat Move has changed my life in and I can’t wait to keep writing in 2021. I got some stuff cooking up that yall are going to like next year. Until then though eat good , read some good books, watch some movies, listen to music you’ve never listened too, try to buy as much psychedelics as you can because the second lockdown is going to come faster than we know it because off all the Friendsgiving’s that are going to be spreading COVID. Happy Holidays and God Bless.

-CSU_Jackson