This last week soccer and cocaine icon Diego Armando Maradona passed away. Ok the article started a bit harsh, but as great a player as he was, he had a couple of questionable habits. The Argentine legend had the habits of doing illicit drugs, forming part of scandals with reporters, and how can we forget his constant social media pictures with dictator homies Nicolas Maduro, Hugo Chavez, Evo Morales, and the OG commie himself Fidel Castro. A lifetime filled with controversy is overshadowed by his performances on the field, and to some extent it makes sense. The South American soccer powerhouse that is Argentina was brought onto the international scene primarily by Diego. He made FCBarcelona one of Europe’s greatest teams to this day, and he made Naples, Italy be relevant for something other than Pizza. A Balon D’Or, a World Cup trophy, Italian League and Spanish League winner medals, and a European UEFA Cup championship are all in his trophy cabinet along with an involvement in the Italian mafia and the pride of using a rubber penis to pass drug tests (true story). Yeah read that sentence again, I’ll give you a second. Done? Ok, let’s continue, how exactly does this dude get involved with the mafia because of a love of drugs and hookers and still be hailed as a god in his home country? Well that’s how good he was, Maradona got away with all that by kicking a soccer ball, and he’s a national treasure in Argentina.

Upon news of his death the president declared three days of national mourning and the country and soccer world felt the pain of losing one the G.O.A.T.’s of the sport. Soccer players all over the world paid tribute by dedicating celebrations to him, and one of those players was fellow Argentina G.O.A.T. Leo Messi. During last weekend’s FCBarcelona win against Osasuna, Messi took off his jersey to reveal a Maradona jersey of Argentine club Newell Old Boys where Messi began his career. A touching tribute indeed, even though it was matched by a 780 euro fine by the Spanish League. The league claimed that the fine is standard for anyone who takes their jersey off in celebration. First of all, fining a soccer player for removing their jersey is as dumb as an idea as Trevor Lawrence agreeing to sign with the Jets, and second of all the man had a second jersey under it. La Liga (the Spanish league) gave their own tribute to the late Maradona, and then they fined the best damn player to have ever played in Spain for doing so as well? To put the 780 euro fine into perspective Messi makes 33 euros per minute on his salary, so in under 24 minutes, he can earn back the fine. As a tribute to Maradona, I’ll put it in a perspective he would’ve understood, according to the 1990 street price of cocaine the price of an ounce was $108. Those $108 adjusted to the exchange rate of the euro to dollar in 1990 being 0.7201 euro = $1, would mean that an ounce of cocaine in 1990 for Maradona would cost 77.78 euros. At around 78 euros a gram Maradona could’ve bought 10 grams of cocaine with those 780 euros. Now if we adjust to the inflation rate those 78 euros would be worth 133.33 euros today meaning that with the modern fine of 780 euros Maradona could’ve bought 5.85 grams of cocaine. Please don’t bother doing the math, because I already did, and I know I’m probably wrong.

A father, a sex offender, an icon, a family man, a cocaine loving man, an athlete, and a communist Diego won the hearts of millions and the hatred of everyone else. He’s gone now and as an athlete he really was remarkable, everything else ehhhhhhh I don’t know, but one thing is for certain the world is a different place without the presence of Diego Armando Maradona.