As Pride month draws to a close, and we have a small window between Meriiccca Fucckk Yeahh celebration day, I think it is about time we honor the forgotten, the cropped out, the back right of the family Christmas card. It is about time we raise awareness for the less attractive siblings in the world. It’s one thing being the unattractive one of a friend group, at least there is biology rather than bad luck to back that up. Hot people fuck other hot people and make hot kids. Fuck. Not hot kids I mean, but kids who once they turn 17 or 18 depending on the State, I’m legally allowed to find attractive. However, when the same parents somehow fuck up and give you the worst qualities from both of their genetics and the best of each to your sibling it feels like a big “fuck you” from the man upstairs. Seriously Dad the giant nose and nonexistent jaw gene was in your strongest swimmer that night?

I unfortunately suffer from this condition, if you can’t tell by the thumbnail, my face has as much structure as a ball sack in 90 degree weather, whilst my brother looks as if… nope. I am not going to describe how hot my brother is. Don’t need to do that. Anyways, at least unattractive men can compete by attempting to be funny. Funny women often underappreciated, the other gender is not so lucky in being to distract you from their ugliness with humor. Having a far more attractive sister may be the single most self-esteem crushing thing. I was going to ask one of my friends if I could use a picture with her and her far hotter sisters but that would be too harsh. I mean she knows, because she has to know, but I don’t have to remind her that we all know.

All I’m asking is that one day out the year we take a second to acknowledge the plight of being a Less Attractive Sibling. Think about not using microaggressions such as “No way… That’s your sister?!!” or “Dude, your brother’s an absolute stud”, we are already fully aware we lost big on the genetic lottery.

Please take one second out your day to sign the petition so together, we can make actual change.

http://chng.it/TCWGKFyjnz

PS. I fully acknowledge that there are other more important causes in the world so please don’t let this be the only petition you sign.