You may have noticed that I took another week off of my wildly popular NFL blog, Mike’s Takes. I got half way through it and just couldn’t keep going. DK Metcalf ruined my aspirations for a perfect season in Fantasy, so I was bummed about that. And I can only make so many punchlines about how terrible the Cowboys are. In general, I needed a break from discussing that much football.

While I’ve felt some football fatigue, I never grow tired of the ancient art of debate. I think it goes without saying that this past week has been stressful for all of us, and we deserve some comfort food. Let the smart people chatter on about what will save America. I don’t have those answers. But I know my way around a drive-thru, and I’m sure y’all do too. If I make fun of the corporate eatery that your grandparents took you to every Friday after school, make sure to let me know how wrong I am. I take your comments very seriously, and there’s a good chance that your incoherent middle school insults will completely adjust my way of thinking. Let’s eat!

Burger King is trash: I’m going to start off with one that we should all be able to agree on. Have you seen that commercial with the city passerbys talking about the Whopper as if it’s some sort of culinary spectacle? Yeah, that’s bullshit. Have you seen their prices? They have to practically give their food away. If you’ve even been inside a Burger King in the past year, I have serious questions about your judgement.

Domino’s is the superior fast food pizza: Since I’ve come to college, I’ve met people that love Domino’s and people that hate Domino’s. I fall into the love category. Their crusts are incredible. Pizza Hut would be my second choice, but Domino’s holds a special place in my heart that no other fast food ‘za comes close to.

Chick-Fil-A has the best chicken sandwich on Earth: A year ago, everyone was scrambling to their nearest Popeyes location to try their chicken sandwich. I’m a sucker for some Popeyes, so I was one of those people. It was everything that I assumed it would be, and I mean that in the best way possible. As good as it was, I’m taking a Chick-Fil-A sandwich with Polynesian any day of the week (except Sunday).

In-N-Out has better burgers and shakes than Whataburger: As a Texan, this feels weird to say. I’ve only been to In-N-Out like five times in my life, and I’ve probably eaten enough Whataburger to pose serious health problems somewhere down the road. But let me tell ya; this seems obvious. Whataburger has the advantage on fries, and they have a much larger menu overall, but when it comes down to burgers and shakes, In-N-Out is simply the G.O.A.T.

Taco Cabana is electric: Don’t get me wrong; Taco Bell is great after a fun night out. But if you eat that stuff consistently when you’re sober, you’re missing out on something special. If you want genuine Mexican cuisine for next to nothing, head down to your local Taco Cabana. Seriously, their breakfast tacos are solid and dirt cheap. I practically lived at the Taco Cabana on Texas Ave. during my freshman year of college, and when it closed, a small part of my soul closed with it. I guess it just couldn’t compete with the self-righteous Torchy’s next door. Hate to see it.