If someone asked me 1 year ago today what I would be doing a year from now, my initial thought would not be in a pandemic. I for one planned on having a lot of Coronas which now is something we all avoid. Our Parties, Pledges, and College experience had been ripped away from us like a hot mom at a tailgate. That being said we can still do things that are in our collegiate control; Like being Frat and hating GDIs. Below is not only a list but a guide into 10 power moves YOU can make during this Pandemic

1. Drink

Where else could we have started? This was the first and only option for myself and others when hearing classes went online, and to be very honest I just haven’t stopped. Go treat yourself and pick up a rack, bottle, handle, or anything that tickles your fancy and get drunk. 

2. Make an Onlyfans

What’s better than subscribing to some Instagram models $15.00 a month OnlyFans? Making your own. Follow our first power move, work up some confidence, and start raking in cash to help support all your needs and impress your friends.

3. Haze your siblings

Mom and Dad have gone to bed, the alcohol cabinet is fully stocked and your little brother is just sitting there. Take their phone, put it where he can’t reach, and unleash everything you wish you could have on the Pledges who never were this semester. PSA: Do not let your parents step in unless they want to get hazed too.

4. Hitting on your step sister

MAKE A MOVE! We all want “what are you doing stepbro?” So stop dreaming and put yourself out there and next thing you know, It’s dinner time and OTPHJ is in full swing. Best of luck and always remember she’s not really family.

5. Finish a category on PornHub

Tonight, Tomorrow, (Right now), or whenever you do it next, start on page 1 and just keep working. We all have a favorite category so why not see it to completion and use your free time before bed doing what so many of us do but with an end goal. 

6. Failing classes after they went online

This one is pretty easy to understand but also hard to do (if you’re smart). If you arent on the smarter side of schooling this was a classic move. By classic, I mean one step closer to the ever-elusive 5th year that we all strive for. Live, Laugh, College and College as long as you can. 

7. Ripping uppers at your parent’s house

We visit our parents and often find ourselves getting lectured and forced to do whatever they like to do at the time. So why not use a bathroom break and RIP a few lines to get you going and act like the kid they always wanted that’s finally interested in what they are doing.  

8. Hit up your Ex

Chances are you already have done this before but if not I would start now. You both still have something for each other regardless of if she got with another active. It’s just good to put yourself out there where if they don’t respond you can once again remember why you aren’t together anymore. 

9. Have an STD Scare 

Social distancing is always advised but sometimes late-night swiping ends up with random hook up and a phone call later that week. (This is obviously only a power move if its a scare). IF you get one you’re just being dumb and should have finished Power move #5. 

10. Move Back to your College town 

A lot of people went home as soon as classes went online and if you are still home, I would come back. It’s college and you know damn well that you aren’t really in college unless you’re blacking out with your closest friends as close to where you receive an education as possible. 

As places begin to reopen and the state of the pandemic isn’t feeling the same as before then you better get going. Do you want to be on the side of history where you have little to no stories to share with your kids in 20 years when they ask what you did? NO, you want to be able to say to your kids they can go to college because of the money you made on Onlyfans. I made your uncle Jimmy a better person by making him do a 5ths and cuffs by himself, and most importantly that when I was in College during all of this I STILL did College.